Silly musings

2008-11-27T21:25:00.002+05:30

Bail-outs

At the cost of making my page look like another dissertation column or a who-is-responsible-for-the-mess forum, here comes a post on the bailout saga.

We live in unprecedented times might sound too much of a cliché, but let me explain that with some numbers to get us off on the right footing. Stock markets around the globe have wiped out $ 23 trillion wealth, excluding the derivatives (which are a zero sum game). What number pops into your mind, when you hear bailout? Imagine how much value that holds for you, for a minute. Now let us correct ourselves. The bailout touted at $ 700 billion is much more. A random total of announced packages exceed $ 16 trillion, more than the US GDP ($ 13 trillion). (Bloomberg says bailout is $ 7 trillion)

*Bailout*	*Amount*
Most glamorous of the bailout package	$ 700 billion
Latest bailout to reduce blockades on credit cards, auto loans, mortgages and other borrowing	$ 800 billion
Fed program to buy all Companies commercial paper	$ 2,400 billion
FDIC guarantee for inter bank loans	$ 1,400 billion
FDIC guarantee for Consumer loans increased to $ 250,000 per account	$ 10,608 billion *
Individual commitments outside $ 700 billion package
Bear Stearns	$ 29 billion
AIG	$ 123 billion
Citigroup (Inc. $20 billion as cash infusion)	$ 326 billion
Automobile sector for alternative fuel development	$ 25 billion
Automobile bailout (expected in December)	$ 25 billion

*- Calculated from marginal impact of $ 250,000 instead of $ 100,000 insured

This gives a running total of $ 16.4 trillion. And it is for sure, that this is not all the kitty, given the non disclosure policies of Fed. So where will the Fed conjure up all the money from? One argument could be, all of this would not require funding, but in a worst case scenario (as if it is not now?), this would be the amount that Fed will have to cough up. We will address this later.

FDIC had a reserve ratio of 1.25% previously under the $ 100,000 of consumers deposits insured meaning it has $ 1.25 for every $ 100 insured, but now under the new legislation, it would fall to an abysmal 0.5%. This suggests that they should have new risk mitigating mechanism which drastically reduces bank failures. But given the conditions, the FDIC is just bracing itself for the surprise of its life.

Historically other big bailouts in the US have been,

*Bailout*	*Amount adjusted for inflation*
1933 Public Works Administration Created to reduce unemployment (25% then)	$ 3.3 billion (unadjusted)
1938 Spending program to provide stimulus	$ 5 billion (unadjusted)
1979 bailout of Chrysler	$ 4.2 billion
1990 Savings & Loans bailout	$ 210 billion

For all the bailout money, Fed is buying toxic assets, which are not disclosed. The crisis has been created by the run ups of the prices of these assets, which by their nature, is illiquid, high risk and inflated. Now the Government is not addressing their problem of being over priced. It is gleefully accepting these at the sky high prices, thus trying to sustain the bubble. But the free market ideology suggests that we allow these asset prices to correct themselves till they become an attractive buy to someone. This sounds like just another American parent trying to give his kid some dough to kick the bucket on his doping addiction.

Another challenge that the administration faces is the high unemployment rate, now at 6.5% and could not take long to reach 8%, a high in the last quarter century. The worrying situation is that of the 6.5% unemployed, less than 22% are able to find new jobs (Thomas Lam, economist). A higher portion of skilled employees getting the pink slip will also hurt the wage levels badly. And all of this is in the face of all the massive bailouts announced by the Government. Fed’s actions just seems like they are telling folks, ‘It is all a nightmare. Please wake up now, get over it and give all your pains to us.’

Now that all the promises of infinite lines of credit have been made, it is time to produce all the money without hiking up inflation. Debt could be a way out. Then it will just be a simple transfer of corporate debt to Government debt in one big swoop, without touching the leveraging issues, as the underlying assets remain the same. And under the burden of so much debt, the Government would be forced to raise taxes, impose trade restrictions, cut down on unemployment subsidies and cut down on infrastructure spending naturally putting into jeopardy Obama’s second term, even before getting off the mark.

2008-09-28T01:47:00.001+05:30

Suc(k)cess

The biggest of human weakness is a craving for success. Genetically programmed to only yearn for such outcomes, exceptions are viewed with disdain. Even the few who risk to differ, are treated as outcasts and toe the conventional line soon enough.

To make it more simple, how many times have you felt emptiness when you completed a novel, that had an unconventional ending wherein the author left scope for your judgment or the protagonist died. Or for that matter, how many of us would have abused the director of a movie, when the movie had an unconventional ending. Actually it should have been, the more complex/different emotions the movie/novel draws, the better it is.

The whole point of bringing this up is to put in perspective, the global financial turmoil. All through my life, it has been drilled into me that, capitalism is better than all other forms of economy. And testimony was the success of US of A as a nation. Laissez Faire was touted to be panacea for global inequity.

But the rough ride now takes everything for a toss. And even my idealistic economy, is no longer market driven. It looks more socialistic than even yester years Russia. Sample this.

1. SEC banned shorting of financial stocks. When the companies were allowed the luxury of having all the bull runs they have had, why throw them a lifeline now. Why not allow the system to correct itself. If traders are shorting it, the companies had it coming for long. That is what free market means right? Allow Darwin to choose, who emerges from the rubble. Why intervene?

2. And the regulators do not want to cap the executive pay packages of these troubled companies because then they feel that these executives will not approve of the bail out plans and disagree to sell assets. Who are we kidding here?

Can the trouble be saved by these impartial measures? Only the pain stands to be delayed. This duality of US in acting capitalistic in good times and wielding the stick, as things turn awry is going to spell doom for its own future.

And I am sure our kids will grow up, being told that the Chinese form of economy is the best and all countries need to emulate them. The Americans need to blame themselves for squandering away their chance of being on top of the world. Along with the baby boomers, Uncle Sam is fast approaching senility.

P.S: It is around 2 AM. Thoughts are not so coherent. So pardon me

2008-08-24T13:52:00.002+05:30

We(e/a)kend- week after week

Some obscure (shuffled) track blaring in the room gleefully, more so as I cannot identify it, lethargy in thoughts, narcissistic urge to check the blog ticker (now at 1299, though I made half the hits) and the guilt of not preparing anything since morning (CFA Level 1) brings out the boy in me. What the heck? Half an hour won’t harm me much. But isn’t that what life is all about?

When you think you have zilch to do, warming your ass and the recliner all day, you cannot do the simplest of productive things. And likewise, when you are smothered by work, you end up doing the silliest thing you can ever imagine. Voila, my post.

Probably, ‘Phoonk’ played spoilsport on my weekend. Did RGV even script it or did his cook? Add to it, my 300 GB of priceless movie collection lost (disk failure). Orkut’s never been this boring. And so is my portfolio, as its steadily downhill. And mid day is around the time, all the brats will manage to pull themselves out of bed and the slew of calls will start now, even conference to conclude that this ain’t the right way to spend a Sunday and try to find out a ‘fun’ way to amuse ourselves and thus restore Sunday’s dignity.

And the supposedly fun way begins with going to a new place, snacking and then start talking about GIRLS. Probably we are on a mission to exhaust talking about all specimens of the fairer sex around here, and I should tell you, we are doing pretty well. May be the new locale every week adds spice to the otherwise bland species (object of discussion).

And by end of day, when we all feel, that it was another good weekend spent, all of them hasten back home, riding at mad speeds usually. Then back to my recliner and T.V. Gosh I missed so much of the EPL and yeah the CFA preps of course.

P.S: I have made it 1300 refreshing. But please do not stop the referrals.

2008-04-11T15:32:00.006+05:30

Duality

Traffic is something that is less researched, less discussed but something that affects everybody’s lives. It has a direct effect on productivities. You will appreciate more of this when we are done with this post. As with other things in the world, traffic perfectly follows a free market concept. More of which I will explain by exploring the duality of traffic and stocks (Some day I will write a research paper on this one).

The objective of an individual in traffic is to minimize the time he spends to reach his destination. An investor (equity alone for simplicity) would like to maximize his returns and wealth. The duality does not end there. In a perfect equity market, there is no strategy that can make money consistently. All stock prices take random walk. Similarly in traffic (perfect conditions), no shortcut can get you quicker to your destination as enough people will know about it and hence will crowd the shortcuts.

In investments, bigger the investment size, the more you have the potential to affect prices by your buy/sell decision. Similarly in traffic, bigger your vehicle, you affect the overall traffic (Others' time savings and wastage) more. And similarly smaller the investment or the vehicle, it is possible to maximize returns or reach destination quickly. (This explains motorbikes darting across quickly)

Apart from the fundamental strength of a company and its business model, what can explain the stock price of a company is ‘Herd behavior’. And similarly with traffic, apart from concentration of companies and other institutions in locations, ‘Herd behavior’ can explain congestion in the time all people choose to commute and the routes they prefer to take.

The role of regulators can also be thrown light on in parallel. The stock market watchdog (SEBI) would like to aid investors in enhancing their wealth by improving efficiency and transparency. They would prevent creation of cartels and monopolies. They tax the profits moderately to keep themselves functioning and to balance out the earnings. The traffic regulator works to improve overall efficiency. It penalizes offenders. It uses duties on new vehicles to control the number of new vehicles that are added to the roads every day.

And as investments (stock picking), to succeed in traffic (without accidents and be quick), you need to regard traffic as an art as well as a science. I am trying hard at both. :P

P.S : The post can be utterly meaningless to a lot of people, but it gave me tremendous satisfaction penning it down. But I am confused if that really is a blogger’s objective or should play to the crowd.

2008-02-24T20:31:00.000+05:30

Web 2.0 sites are amazing. The template choices and widgets offered by blogger pale in comparison with its web 2.0 peers. I have reconstructed the blog at http://srini.weebly.com

But it still does not offer comments. Also I would prefer to have sub-tabbing and multiple page articles. So till weebly figures all that out, this page will be alive.

Also recently was launched, the web 2.0 portal http://yiktik.com A news aggregator site for Indian Business. Refreshing design, great usability and hassle-free registration are its novel USP. The user base is small now and hence the content lacks depth, but it is a great portal in the making. Watch out.

2008-02-17T01:33:00.006+05:30

The NANO

After the legendary Ford Model T, the car that ‘put America on wheels’, there has not been a single model that has revolutionized the automobile industry. (Model T was the first car to be produced on an assembly line and it was sold at $850, in 1905). But today, the Model T seems to have a competitor emerging from the unlikeliest of challengers in the form of the TATA NANO from the stable of Tata Motors, India.

So what is revolutionary about it? It comes with a price tag of $2500 (40% cheaper than the closest competitor – Chinese Alto $4112). The whole world seemed to have taken notice and is gearing up to the launch.

It was conceptualized by Ratan Tata, who seemed to have revitalized the Tata Giant moving at a trot to a gallop. The motivation was to give the Indian middle class family of four, travelling precariously perched on a motorcycle, a better, safer and cheap alternative mode of transportation. One of the lesser known brains behind the project includes Girish Wagh and his team of engineers. Girish Wagh is also credited with the earlier success Tata Ace, the 4 wheeler road carrier that has reached far corners of rural India.

The project has had its fair share of troubles and is going to see much more going ahead. But you cannot expect a revolution to go unchallenged. The problems faced include the SEZ land acquisition issue, unimaginable price ceiling, protests by environmentalists and even floods at the production site. But the project seems underway in spite of all these. And Ratan Tata has assured that they will stick to the promised price and hence give wings to the aam-aadmi’s dream.

So how actually has the dream price been conquered? Innovation!! Not revolutionary invention, but a series of small, marginal and significant improvements. In fact Tata Motors has filed for 34 patents for the project. Ranging from the basic engineering design to even the supply chain, every link has produced its frugal best for the project.

The car has a rear engine, that is connected to the rear wheels directly thus saving on steering columns which have been kept hollow as they do not have to support the weight of the engine. The engine itself was made of aluminum, thus saving on weight and cost. The car has only one side rear view mirror and only one wiper. In the interiors, the HUD (Head-Up-Display) has been kept simple with an odometer, fuel level and turn indicator. Also the glass used in the HUD was not anti-reflective, as the natural angle it made, allowed it to be visible. The car as well uses a lot of adhesives rather than expensive welding. Also the interior parts were made such that, they just fit into each other rather than requiring screws to hold them. The tubeless tyres have been kept small owing to the lesser weight and have been spaced as far as possible in the frame, compensating for their small size. The bulbs used for the lights are standard ones as against longer life ones.

Every part used on the Nano, is customized and not the standard used in other small cars. The suppliers play a crucial role in achieving the 1 lakh price tag. Almost 85% of the car is produced by third party suppliers. All of them have agreed for razor thin margins, owing to the large volumes that Tata Motors has promised. Most of the parts have been priced at the variable cost. Also Tata Motors had aggressively bid with the suppliers, sometimes starting at 50% of the bid price received by them. Some suppliers like Exide have almost forgone the entire margin, just for being associated with the project, as the breadwinners for them are in different category. The breakeven for these suppliers can even take almost 2 to 3 years. Tata motors even plans to assemble the car at the dealer points from the dealer kits delivered to them.

But one thing that was not compromised on was the design. In spite of the price, the Nano has quite an aesthetic design and will cause heads to turn. The tall boy design was very well Ratan’s suggestion, as he wanted a car that he can drive out during the launch, given his huge frame. Also the curved windshield used gives it a cute look, while a simpler straight one could have cost less. The Nano is 8% smaller than the Maruti 800, but has 20% more interior space than it, owing to its thinner and taller frame.

Tata motors plans to sell a million Nanos every year. The current domestic passenger car sale is about 1 million cars a year. So to double the entire industry sales, seems like a stiff target. But going by the interest shown by the media and the people at the launch, Tata motors may very well achieve their targets.

What will be the effect of Nano on the environment? Tata motors claims that the car has a catalytic converter and that it produces much less pollution than any other car. But will that comparison suffice. Most of the buyers are going to be two-wheeler owners who will upgrade to it. So isn’t a comparison with two-wheeler emissions required? An addition of million Nanos driving about 8000 Kilometers a year will increase our carbon dioxide emissions by 8% according to a report by the Central Environmental Research Institute.

Also the planners seem to be in a quandary over the infrastructure bottleneck that is sure to greet the Nano. If say Nano sells 60% in urban areas (very conservative estimate), it will add 6 Nanos for every 10 cars in our roads. So going ahead, the roads are going to get clammed, traffic signals are going to get longer and parking will become unavailable. But this is not going to be unsolvable. If we could produce something as amazing as Nano, these are much simpler problems. Solutions can include car pooling, higher parking fares, public transportation systems and higher taxes on new vehicles.

Questions also linger on the automobile waste that will be generated because of two-wheelers that have been phased out. Fledgling recycling capacity is terribly inefficient to handle the wastes.

In spite of all these happening, sales of Nano will continue, as India has a vehicle penetration of 7 per 1000 adults compared with the high 400s in developed countries. Some simple feelers for the future success of the project include, politicians asking for reservation in bookings and quotas for the poor. Now that sure should have brought a smile to the legend.

2008-01-24T03:49:00.000+05:30

Bloodbath

Pretty late to write on the recent blood bath, but alas, I was too distraught to do anything. (Though of late this is the norm for me). Halal Street (mindfully misspelled) was witness to nothing less than carnage. To put things in more perspective, as is with every stock market event, let me point out where the current correction stands in historical sense.

The biggest Sensex intra day falls have been,

Black Monday

Many of these crashes take place on Mondays leading to the famous or rather infamous ‘Black Mondays’. The only way this can be explained is a trader’s rather unexciting weekend. Either he gets too bored that he starts worrying about trivial things or rather is made to worry after shopping with his wife. So in this panicky mood, the only thing he does the Monday is SELL, SELL and SELL.

In spite of blatant claims by the media of Sensex witnessing its biggest fall, any one familiar to percentages (assuming you do, as you have got this far), the recent fall is only the third biggest. The major reasons for this fall include (Utterly debatable, anyone and everyone can disagree with me),

Global cues

Should I say more? The subprime crisis has snowballed into a major crisis drying up funds in the US and over Europe which has directly affected their markets. Due to the crisis, the FIIs (Foreign Institutional Investors) have had to unwind their position in India. Now allow a little detour as to understand how the FIIs have made huge profits in India.

India touted as the best emerging market is growing at about 10% YoY basis. Add to this, the global interest in India had made most FIIs flock to India. This means there was a large supply of dollars and Rupee was being bought to invest in India. That explains theappreciating rupee. Now let us assume for simplicity that the FIIs have earned a return of 10% on their investments in rupee terms. Now with a weak dollar, it makes much more sense for them to book their profits and get out of here as in Dollar terms, the returns will be even higher than 10%.

OK. I will make it simpler. Say I brought in 1000$ at 45Rs/$ a year ago. So that means I invested 45000 Rs. Now this year it has grown to 49500Rs (10% growth). But in dollars I would have earned 1237.5$ (assuming 40Rs/$) which means about 23% return on investment. Now that is a double whammy. So makes more sense for the FIIs to book their profits and get out of here.

Margins

This could get a little complicated. When dealing with derivatives, (Contracts that derive their value from basic stocks), traders are required to submit margin amounts. The margin amounts usually vary between 10% to 20%. This provides the much hyped ‘leverage’. To better understand it, consider this.

There is a stock quoting at 100 Rs. Now in a future contract, you need to pay only 10 Rs for it. Now if the stock trades and ends the day at 110Rs, your contract is worth 20Rs which means 100% return on investment, whereas the stock has only appreciated 10%. Same is the downside, a 10% fall means your capital is wiped out. This is leverage. You buy more with

less money. (I have conveniently ignored factors that determine the future contract price which may not be the same as the stock price at the end of the day, in my quest to keep it simple.)

The recent bull-run had reached such enormous proportions that, even that 10 to 20% to be given as margin was quite a considerable amount. And brokerage houses tended to accept shares from its clients in place of money for the margins needed to be provided.

But as is with future contracts, at the end of day, the contract is marked to market, meaning you have to provide money in case you have made a considerable loss. But the people who had provided their shares as margin either went bust or could not get cash quick enough to replenish their accounts (inefficient banking systems). So as a result of the loss they had suffered that day, the stocks they had provided were sold by their brokers in order to recover the cash needed to clear their positions. This kind of relentless selling drove the markets down to abyss.

Reliance power IPO

Many might not agree, but still I would have it right up there as one of the reasons. The issue at a size of 11, 700 crore at upper cut-off price got over subscribed 69 times. Hence it sucked a lot of liquidity out of the system. Blatantly using one of my Professor’s line, ”Ambanis are son-in-laws of the government, they can get away with anything”, will justify the kind of euphoria associated with the issue.

Now I will try to justify how bad an issue, Reliance Power is. A company that does not have anything on its balance sheet, no running plant and with just projected earnings, Reliance Power has been more than successful in raising capital. If it lists at 900Rs per share, it gives it a market cap of Rs 2 lakh crores, which was the market cap of Reliance Industries (Established company) a few months ago. In 4 years they plan to have 28000MW running capacity. Whereas a stock like NTPC which already has 28000MW installed capacity and has expansion plans has a market cap of less than Rs 2 lakh crores (with equal debt levels as Reliance Power). Also NTPC has the highest capacity utilization in the sector at about 90%.

Investing is not entirely a mind determined action, though ideally by capitalistic definitions it should be. Men think more with their heart than mind when it comes to women, war and money (Yours truly is no different. Have applied for 900 shares). When as much as 8 lakh crores is blocked for the IPO, it needs more than a miracle to expect people to hold on, booking their losses in the future position in the current fall. So the issue is one of the main triggers for the fall, more so because of the bad omen it portended in its last day.

Lighter moments of the Fall -The trade halting goof-up

January 21 was one day when the usual chirpiness and smiles were totally missing on the sullen faces of the lady anchors on business news channels. But still BSE provided the necessary entertainment. After 2:30 PM, they halted trading thinking they have hit the lower circuit filter (10%), whereas when they were supposed to do it at 15%. Later on being questioned by SEBI, as to why they stopped trades, BSE has admitted to a technical snag, which conveniently coincided with the 10% drop.

Long term effects

The markets may come back to their original levels in a week, a month, a year or at the most a decade (During the Harshad Mehta scam, Sensex fell from 4000 and took 7 years to reach it again). But the traders who had future contracts and other derivative instruments have suffered irreversible losses, as they are now out of money to participate in the recovery. Many of them will never return to the stock markets and will look for making a living somewhere else.

And going forward the RBI will at least in steps increase restrictions on FIIs curbing this kind of pullout from the markets. This will be beneficial to the markets in the long run. What is needed is more domestic participation than FIIs prowling for profits.

Also for bargain hunters, they cannot have a better chance to buy stocks that were available at discounts as all sectors got rerated. If you are planning to build yourself a portfolio, then there cannot be a better time to pick up some quality stocks (sriniselvam@gmail.com for recommends).

2008-01-14T05:04:00.000+05:30

Just Another Day

A sunny day, warmly providing respite from the cold seemed perfect for Rajesh to take a break. His spirits rose in spite of having sworn at his friend who had buzzed him out of his cubicle. He had a project to deliver that week and his PM was losing his nerve with every day ticking until the deadline.

But those things could wait. Arun had been unequivocal and demanded Rajesh to meet him at the cafeteria immediately. Rajesh walked into the café. It was pretty crowded. That made him wonder, if he was the only one in the company working his heart out. He thought why the company was not considering any downsizing? May be the first step in increasing productivity could be closing the shutters of the café.

The chatter was quite excited and high on decibels. Rajesh chose a table in a corner so that the din did not annoy him. He seated himself facing the entrance. He did not want to waste any time more than required amongst this motley. The steward walked towards him, but he waved him off to come later. He looked at his watch absent mindedly, just to curse Arun.

As he was glancing at the entrance, he suddenly caught sight of a girl entering. His instinct made him look again. Smirking at the fact that all that work had not whetted his primal instincts, he looked at her. She was tall, slim and was wearing a bright blue full sleeved top and the conventional denim. She had long beautiful hair, let loose. She glanced around the café. He believed that while looking around, she lingered a moment longer in his direction. He tried making eye contact. But by then, she had turned. She sauntered and took a table to the right of his'.

Rajesh kept staring at her. He was struck by her poise. She fiddled with the menu with her slender long fingers. He was amazed by the range of feelings she evoked in him. He started interpreting her character from her actions. He was sure that she would have by now noticed him ogling at her. But still she did not look in his direction. And her twitchiness, related to his staring or unrelated, convinced him that she was a very conservative girl. But the sparkle in her bright brown eyes seemingly concealing naughtiness and the high heel she was wearing contradicted it.

He started wondering if he should actually move to her table and strike a conversation. But he recalled his previous similar encounters. And in all of them, he had been so dumbstruck or choked that he had never made that first move. He thought, may be all that was actually leading to this day. Fate always has pleasant surprises in store. All the work he had to finish by that week seemed like child’s play to him now.

As he was basking in the pleasure of watching her, her lips parted and she was smiling. Her hand slowly raised and now she was waving at someone. He tried to see who it was. Arun appeared from nowhere and walked towards him. At the same time she stood up from her chair. Both of them took the seats opposite him. Arun spoke, ’Hey!! Meet my fiancée, Anita.’ Rajesh proffered his hand and smiled, more so because of not having made that first move.

2007-12-29T20:28:00.001+05:30

Memoirs Part 2

As soon as X entered the room, the cold hit him, literally too. Prof. Y was on the phone talking with someone and curtly pointed to the chair in front of his huge table. X obediently took the chair. Not wanting to worsen the situation, he lowered his head humiliatingly and kept staring at his own fingers. Time seemed frozen. The banter on the phone extended to eternity.

And then as abruptly as things had happened all day, Dr. Y hung up and asked X, ‘Mr. X, How do you find the courses here? Are they up to your standard?’ X thought of the damage control mode he had decided to adopt. So he just looked at Y pleadingly. Y stressed, ‘What are your thoughts on my course and International Marketing? Write them down on this sheet.’

X took the sheet obligingly and stared at it. His thoughts were racing. Should he write anything at all, the least now he wanted was to make Y more furious? So he timidly started writing the course names. Y was waiting with his hands folded. Seeing that, X timidly started writing.

Good structure and content. Case studies extensively discussed. Live strategy games could be held to make the class more interesting.

X now wondered what made him write that last point. Why is he habitually pointing out things? Will he ever change? Maybe the dressing down today will achieve that. He meekly extended the sheet forward. And then something hit him on the face. He was surprised although he expected anything to happen. Then he realized it was another sheet of paper. He slowly picked it up. It was THE FORM.

Y spoke calmly, ‘I had to study all the handwriting in the answer papers to zero down on the one who wrote this. Now what made you write this?’

X was wondering if that was really a question or just figurative. So as always he kept quiet.

‘I have had some mistakes pointed out in feedback forms. In fact there were 5 negative forms from your class, but nothing this outrageous’, said Y, still very calm and restrained.

X was still pondering if at all he should say anything. X went through his form again to get a grasp of things he was hearing. Then he noticed the word, ‘FAMILY’. What made him write it? Who in their right senses would have mentioned that in the feedback form of an academic course?

X had his reason as always. X had had his share of trouble with Prof Y prior to this. Once he had rejoined college 2 days late as his dad was due to fly back home then. His father told him that he will call up the administrator. X had insisted, ‘This is no primary school dad, I can handle it’, thinking of how much an arse he will be made to be by Y in class, after his dad’s call. But X, to his rude shock was awarded 4 DGPs (Derogatory Award Points) for joining two days late. And as the trimester progressed he found that people were joining weeks late. But the only thing they did right was they were in Y’s good books. And meanwhile Prof. Y was rescheduling all his classes to take a break and go home.

DGPs are awarded in extreme breaches of code of conduct. If one gets 8 of them, they are duly asked to forfeit the course. Y had sarcastically remarked when awarding the DGP’s, ‘What if you had started out of home and then wandered away and then joined late. This will teach you a lesson.’ X was slipping away in his thoughts. But this was no time to think of all of that. He needed to imagine something good about Prof. Y so as to have a real pitiful expression. He knew he could not fake his feelings now.

Dr.Y ’s voice brought him back to reality, ‘What is your CGPA Mister? What makes you think that you are eligible to advise me, when the toppers have all given me a good review? Tell me, what is you CGPA?’

X was cornered now. He did not recall his CGPA. 20 years of education and thousands of scores. How can anyone remember them all? He tossed between 3.1 and 3.3. Trying to be modest, ‘Sir, it is 3.1’.

Dr. Y was getting hysterical. X could clearly see the signs. X was wondering where was all the usual nervousness he had had during interviews in the past. Strangely, he was feeling quite calm unlike the other side of the table.

Dr. Y screamed, ‘What makes you think, you can do this and get away with it? Do you know my history? If this thing happened anywhere else, you no longer will be alive. I studied in Loyola in Chennai. You should know about its notoriety. How long have you lived in a metro? You have no idea about the kind of contacts I have.’

X was stupefied. How can anyone kill someone for writing a feedback form? Under the influence of his new found temperance, he was even laughing at the irony of the statement. If it really gets down to it, he was wondering who would be in a better position. A college guy or a man 10 years into teaching?

‘You had no right to say anything about my family, forget the teaching part which is also false by the way’, shouted Dr.Y. X now made up his mind to answer. ‘Sir, I never thought any faculty member goes through these feedback forms. I just wanted to sound funny to my friends. Nothing in it, I ever meant’, said X politely, knowing that it dint even convince him. And as expected it fell on deaf ears.

‘Even those DGPs have not helped. Now I would not punish you. I will let you go and I never want to see you again. Don’t attend my lectures. I will give you an A in Business Management. Don’t even come anywhere near my classes’, barked Y.

‘Sir, I am sorry, I never meant any of it’, pleaded X.

‘Do you know what I can do to your career? Just one minute, and you would be a loser even before you start’, said Y, snapping his fingers demonstrating the fickleness of X’s career. X was wondering if he should have used the college fee and started a kirana store rather than joining here.

‘Now get lost out of here. You will get an A. Don’t come to my class. I will make sure you repent for this, till you leave this place’, said Y tapping THE FORM.

X rose out of the chair, turned his back and walked out of the room with a sheepish grin across his face. What more could he have asked for? An A, full attendance, a one on one with the boss and special treatment for the rest of his college years. He took out his mobile and dialed. He sure had a grand tale to tell her.

2007-12-29T00:28:00.001+05:30

Memoirs part 1

Disclaimer: Personal views. This post has high perishability.

This is where our Mr. X (for choice of a better name) can speak out. Now can he? That is what he thought when he filled out that wretched feedback form. The course was some basic one on management. The lecturer was the Numero Uno Mr.Y, of the new campus. He was terror unleashed on the students. His booming voice, hostile remarks and short temper unnerved everybody. Now in this perfect setting, our bloke sat about filling the form at the end of his first trimester exam. The form had just 3 simple questions. And enough space to communicate his feelings. Or so X thought. So here goes THE FORM.

Comment on the following

1. 1.Course structure

Loosely structured with total disregard to students.

2. 2.Course content

Out of date case studies. Repetitive slides

3. 3.Course scheduling

According to the whims and fancies of the professor and his family.

The forms were collected back by the assistant. As usual the chatter was about the exam. People were asking each other how many additional sheets they used. Our X felt so much left out of all this. He was wondering if anyone will even go through the answer scripts and he was pretty sure about the feedback forms being thrown away. Or else someone would have infused some sanity into the professor way back. But in his batch he was sure no one else would have written anything other than the typical three ‘GOOD’s. He smirked with an evil sense of power at having had the opportunity to lead the crusade. He turned to his mates to begin the ‘chai’ routine before classes resumed. But they were still immersed in discussing the paper. In his mind, he reinforced his thoughts of not belonging to the college in any way.

The rest of the day was uneventful, some boring lectures with few nodding in the first row and religiously making notes of what ever were on the slides, not withstanding the fact that the lecturer mailed all of it the next day. The chai routine was only something that our X was looking forward to everyday. Sipping his cuppa, he reached in his trousers for his ringing mobile. X was wondering as to who it could be. A local landline number in a new city was unusual. As he answered, he heard the familiar voice of the dutiful assistant from the administrative desk. Again unusual! What does X have to do with the administrative desk? In fact he wanted to be as far away as possible from it.

The assistant said ‘Where are you Mr. X? Prof. Y wants to meet you. Immediately!’ Then it dawned upon our dumbo. Oh Holy f***!! They have zeroed in on the feedback form. But how could they? It was supposed to be anonymous. The assistant was awaiting his reply. ‘Oh! Mam. I just returned to the hostel. Can’t it wait till tomorrow?’

‘NO ! SIR SAYS HE WANTS TO SEE YOU TODAY!!’

‘OK mam. I am starting from the hostel to college mam. I will meet him right away’, X hung up.

Now was the first time, X missed all his close friends back home. Anyway he had a new group. So form the Chai Dukhan opposite his campus, he called them (SMS: Save My Soul). B & C turned up. X curtly narrated the situation. C said, ‘Bosidike! Kya ho gaya tuje!!’ And B pitched in saying, ‘Dude you are a goner’.

So the three gulped their chais, trying to think clearly. The gravity of the issue was still sinking in them. B broke the silence saying, ‘Dude the maximum he can do is, throw you out of campus. Can you handle that? Will your parents stand by you then?’.

X was simply blinking, imagining how his father will react if he came to know of it. No, that is too much to think about now. One problem at a time. ‘Guys! Just tell me what I can tell him now, to reduce the impact of the damage already done.’ B called out, ‘Gulfam!! 3 more cups.’ Gulfam gleamed and was right there with his chai.

C out of the corner of his eye watched the assistant returning home. X now tried hiding behind the tree. Too conspicuous. Gulfam’s cash counter seemed better. So he pushed Gulfam out and hid himself there.

‘OK you are safe now. Come out. How much time do you have left?’ enquired B, glancing at his watch.

‘Not much. I told her, I am starting from the hostel. That gives me like 20 minutes. So ten more I guess’, said X wiping out beads of perspiration from his forehead. X was now visibly shaken. Adrenaline was coursing through all his veins. Such level of heightened thrill, he had never felt before.

‘Mate! You cannot go in and argue that it is not your form. So get in, agree that it is yours and ask sorry. Also I think he cannot throw you out, as an anonymous form cannot be used as evidence’, B encouragingly told X. Now X felt a little better. Yeah! You cannot use a lousy form as evidence against you. C chipped in saying, ‘Dude, be brave. We are with you.’ X knew that it was only figurative. But when you are under pressure, you like to hear reassurances like that, though they mean nothing.

‘Chalo logon, time to face the music. Anyone coming with me’, asked X mockingly. B being in the goodbooks of Prof Y asked earnestly, ‘I can mate. If you want me to.’ ‘Thanks yaar! Let us save that one for the bigger troubles’, grinned X.

X got into the lift, acknowledging the ‘All the best’ signs shown by B & C sarcastically. He found the lift climb slowly. He smirked to himself thinking even the lift is having its share of fun. Finally it jerked to a stop on his floor. He walked out of it and asked the guard if Dr.Y was in his room hoping against hope that Y would have left. The guard nodded his yes very cheerfully. The lift and now the guard, X felt as if everybody is conspiring against him.

To be continued….

2007-12-26T23:54:00.000+05:30

Subprime crisis

It is time to get technical. Cuff up. This ain’t gonna be easy. So what is all the hullah about subprime mortgage crisis? Over debated, less understood as is any financial term. Join me in this attempt to demystify it. Before getting lost or dozing off, let us first make sure of a few basics before progressing.

In very few words, the crisis is just a lot of loans that went bad. So this may lead you to believe that the banks that lend the money would have gone bust. But by the end of this discourse (if you manage to!!!!) you will discover that it was the borrowers and other people totally alien to the mortgaged houses who ended up losing.

Some terms to understand which will put the crisis in its right perspective include,

Mortgage
Sub prime market
Securitization
Refinance
Fed rate

Mortgage

The simplest of the terms, this refers to the loan secured in order to purchase a real estate property, mostly a house. The parties involved include the debtors or borrowers i.e. the one buying the house and the creditors or lenders, either a bank or other financial institution.

Sub-prime market

Based on credit history (borrowing history), people are divided into tranches (groups). The prime borrowers are those whose history of repayment has been good and risk of default is less assuming that they will continue to be as good as they have been. So this leads us to sub-prime borrowers, who naturally have had a bad credit history. This includes default of loans, delayed EMI payments and also declaration of bankruptcy.

So what is the point of lending money to someone who is likely to default? Here comes the crux of any financial market. ‘RISK INVOLVED JUSTIFIES THE RETURNS’. These borrowers are lent money at an interest rate that is much higher than the prime borrowers. This is under the assumption that the defaults can be compensated by the higher returns obtainable from the borrowers who repay.

Securitization

Technically it can be defined as treating any receivables, cash flows or assets as securities and bundling them and passing it onto investors.

Okay if that just buzzed by, in our context, it can be understood as follows.

A bank issues loans to borrowers. So it has a stream of future cash flows receivable. Now what the bank does is, it bundles up all the loans and sells this as a security (a financial instrument) to interested investors. For example, ICICI lends money for auto-loans. Say it has a pool of 1000 borrowers. Now it prepares a security and issues it to 1000 investors. These investors are assured of receiving the EMI payments of the borrowers.

Why has the traditional lending-borrowing model undergone a change like this? It is because as in our example, it gives ICICI bank more funds to lend again (as the securitized loans are sold) and allows it to specialize in evaluating credit risk and giving away loans. The investor himself cannot go and find 1000 people buying automobiles to lend a small amount to each one of them. Since the pool is large, it inherently has risk diversification. Thus it seems like a win-win situation for all.

Refinance

Refinance generally refers to replacing one loan with another. The motive behind refinancing a loan in the mortgage market is to get a lower interest rate and hence a lower EMI payment. Banks have a tendency to charge a rate of interest in line with the proportion of investment. That is for the same house, if the borrower pools in 20% and borrows for 80%, the loan will be cheaper (lower interest rate) than going for 100% borrowing.

For example let us consider, someone buys a house for $ 1 million in California borrowing 100% of the capital from say Citibank. Now in a booming real estate market, one year down the line, the property appreciates to $ 2 million. So now a new bank say Countrywide is willing to lend the owner $ 1 million at a rate lesser than Citibank as Countrywide is only paying 50% of the house value. Thus the owner is willing to refinance his loan as he is required to pay a lesser EMI.

Fed rate

The fed rate is the interest rate at which the banks can borrow from the Federal Reserve in US. This rate almost decides all the other interest rates applicable in the economy. So an increasing fed rate implies, floating rate loans are expensive and vice versa. The fed rate reached abysmal levels of about 1.75% in 2002. Since then the Feds have been increasing the rate 11 times in a row by 25 basis points( 0.25%) each time.

La crisis

So now that we (though few :D) are clear with the terms, let us delve a little deeper and try to figure out what caused the bubble to grow and then finally burst.

The low fed rate around 2002 made home loans cheaper. To fuel the housing boom, banks started to lend to sub-prime borrowers. The banks became so involved in disbursing new loans, that they relaxed their credit risk (repayment capacity) evaluation procedures. At heights of such lending, jokingly even NINJAs (No Income No Jobs Also) were given home loans. And moreover the banks also quickly securitized this sub-prime lending and sold it as securities to investors. These investors included pension funds, Mutual funds, financial institutions, other banks and big investors spread over US, Europe and other regions.

The demand in housing as a result of such reckless lending resulted in prices of houses skyrocketing. So people who had already borrowed started to refinance their loan on account of their appreciated houses. This reduced their EMIs. This created some strain on the banks and credit enhancement (We will delve into this part sometime later. Not today!!) agencies involved in securitization of the loans.

Now the fed believed the rates have been artificially low for long and started to raise it in 2004. Since then there has been an increase of 25 basis points (0.25%) 11 times in a row. Thus the EMIs increased which started to trigger defaults all around. This snowballed and the banks took over the houses of the defaulted people and put them on sale. But there were no takers. Hence the prices of these properties plummeted. Thus the bubble burst.

The people who were affected in all this were the investors in sub-prime mortgage securities. They had invested in it attracted by the higher rate of returns they offered. But the investors had no clue about the credit worthiness of the borrowers. They believed by what the lenders had to say. Also the defaulters are going to be affected in the future by way of poor credit evaluation. So now they will be tranched even lower than subprime borrowers. So the loans they take hereafter will be more expensive.

So how can all this be undone now? As an immediate relief the Fed is lowering its rate, thus making more funds available for the institutions on the verge of bankruptcy. But will that solve the problem is yet to be seen. To make sure this does not happen again, securitization should be done with prudence and the investors should demand access to the borrowers risk profiles. Also the real estate market needs better regulation and price discovery mechanism like the financial markets.

And if you are reading this line, WOWW!!!! We are at the same wavelength.

And if all this got a little heavy. Lighten up. Click below

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ewiXA_he6VQ

Touted to be the initiator of a global recession, how much ever we may deny, all our immediate future is inextricably linked with this phenomenon. But the most we can do is to watch how the drama unfolds.

2007-10-26T23:46:00.000+05:30

The Kodai Sojourn
Strange things bring together people. Out of college, old school mates seem to have headed in different directions brought together by a small holiday made possible by the weirdest of reasons. A bandh against Ram Setu outcry and Gandhi Jayanti holiday along with the weekend gave the perfect opportunity for a short outing.
After much disagreement, everyone agreed to go to Kodai. And as usual we went there in the most unconventional way. 9 of us packed in a Scorpio. With Durai and Sajan that is an achievement in itself. The trip was quite memorable. Some events that bring a smile to my face recalling now include:
1. Durai puking at every 100 KM
2. Rajesh on his omlette gobbling spree
3. Arun and his GPS smsing
4. Me and my new love (Fuji Finepix S6500fd)
5. Pradeep's 'sunior... jeenior' tongue twister
6. Vijay's leg shaking while driving back
7. Sajan and his marine photo shoot
8. Sujith's ridiculous HR game

Here are some of the eye candies of the trip :

2007-08-18T01:25:00.000+05:30

IMPORTANCE OF STOCK AND OTHER FINANCIAL MARKETS
Stocks tumbling all around the globe on the wake of the sub-prime issues in the US, gives non believers in stocks enough mileage to further their self fulling prophecy of wisely staying out of it. But can anyone really be totally unaffected by stock markets. In capitalist and mixed economies atleast, it is not possible.
Even if you are not invested in the markets, you, your spouse or your parents are working in a company that is listed in the market and hence their compensation is invariably tied with the performance of that company's stock, which in turn is tied with the general health of the country's stock market and the global market trends. Indirectly all the products and services you make use of, is provided by corporate entities. So a stock market bubble burst may close down these companies or drive their product/service prices northwards. My roomie Suresh, still was not convinced with this line of argument. He questioned how come a beggar on the road is affected by the markets. But is it not obvious? Ultimately it is a person employed with a listed company or a stock trader who drops coins to the beggar.
So who can be the real ones who are totally unaffected by stock markets. There are two possibilities. One is a perfect socialist state. Also this socialist state should remain a closed economy, meaning not trade with other countries of the world. Such a closed socialist country where the state owns all means of production and is the only employer can remain unaffected by the stock markets. But such idealism cannot be applied to our world.
The other are the tribal groups that are totally secluded and have no means of communication with the rest of the world. There are only few groups that are present like that in today's world. The kalahari bushmen from Africa and few trial groups in the Andaman like the Sentinelese, Negrito and the great andamanese.

2007-08-17T02:32:00.000+05:30

Way to future
Of late I have been yearning to become a techie, trying out and reviewing new gadgets, staying at the forefront of technology. This is more because of my inner conviction of being able to identify which new developments will click and which are just namesake additions. This attraction towards technology is in spite of spending four years in engineering (precisely electronics) and feeling lost. But that feeling has lot to blame on the course structuring. The faculty did an unbelievable and unparalleled job in making it drab and incomprehensible.

Let me take you through a sneak preview of your home fifty years down the line. All electronic gadgetry will be integrated and master controlled. For convenience let us call your master system as fido. Fido be accessible at a couple of places in the house. Accessibility will be through a projected screen which will be touch sensitive. (Imagine a transparent screen with icons)

Mobile phone will become obsolete atleast inside the house and will stay confined to your car and exterior locations. From anywhere inside your house, you can use it by just calling it out. Also the microphones will be hidden in the walls and the listener on the other end will hear your voice as good as if he is in your room. There will be voice recognition, thus allowing only calls from you and not anyone in your house, unless you give them a code to access it.

Movies and music can also be played by calling out the appropriate codes. Vast collections of movies can be saved in a small drive without any fuss which will reflect both the efficient compressing algorithms and huge memory capacities that will prevail then.

In your wardrobe, the clothes you throw on the bottom will automatically be channeled to the washing machine which will be invisible to the dwellers. The washed clothes will be dried, ironed and even your deodorant (permanent smell) will be added to it and placed neatly back in your wardrobe.

From the projected screen you will be able to access the inventory in your refrigerator. If you feel you have run out of something, you can just call out an order to Fido. It will place order with the grocer and the grocer will deliver it instantly. There will be a small box outside your house. Fido will pick this up from there and place it in the refrigerator. You will be billed in the end of the month for this.

The airconditioning system will work based on your presence. Thermal detectors will sense your position and the vent near that vicinity will work. The same principle will also be applicable to the lights. There will be face recognition at the door and depending on who turns up at the door, Fido will tell you of that person's arrival in the room in which you are present. If it is someone new, it will try describing you the person.

You will be able to change the color of your walls and also your car through simple commands. Your car will drive automatically. The traffic will be syncronized by a big server (Fido senior) run by the state. When you get into your car and announce your destination, it will send a request to the fido senior. It will obtain the route from fido senior. There will be no traffic signals anywhere and regulation will be done by modifying speed suitably so as to keep moving continuously and not wait anywhere.

I guess this preview is enough. Too much of it and it spoils the surprise for you. In a nutshell, people will become so dumb and lazy and if anything goes wrong with fido, you will go mad. Also it will take a whole group of technicians to get it right.

2007-08-15T15:08:00.000+05:30

Sifting fact from fiction
For a few of you, this line of argument may be completely new and ridiculous. But for those who try to seek explanation for everything, you may find this acceptable. How true are the things we consider as facts about our history? Historians are under the mercy of the incumbent rulers. Victors have unlimited power in twisting facts and rewriting them to show them in good light.

In the Indian perspective, most of our history is vague and intertwined with religion. Accepting the occurrence of Mahabarath and Ramayan, still doubts persist on the degree of truth in them. Were the Kauravas really the malicious lot? How will historians have treated the pandavas, for polyandry, if they had lost the war? In any story that is passed down generations, people are bound to exaggerate facts and the final product that is present is a really distorted version on truth.

Extending this line of thought to recent events, we can even question the validity of the Pearl Harbor attacks. Did Japan really wrecked havoc or did US use a stray navy plane as a reason to enter the already full blown world war. Also if Pearl Harbour can be made into a dramatic movie, how will the Americans react to a movie that is made on the Hiroshima & Nagasaki bombs. Also US's recent aggression towards these countries is lot because of a whole generation being fed on war gloryfying movies and that explains Bush's continued presence in the office. And also the influence US wields on the world now can be seen from the way the current wars in West Asia are being portrayed to others.

This line of argument finds support in the movie '300' in which the Persian King Xerxes threatens Greek Leonidus that he will erase them from history after the war if they fail to come under his ascendancy.

The current scenario with respect to history writing is more optimistic than in the past. We have various options by which we can pass all that happened with us to our descendants. But they face an Herculean task. They have to sift through all the evidence and reach a judgment about us. Most of them might be tired to do that and just follow the popular opinion of their day.

2007-08-14T15:46:00.000+05:30

Hiatus Ends
After seeing some spirited minds blogging and the craze to associate with anything google, activity in my blog is resumed. But this time I have decided to flood this space with my posts. To begin, let me explain you why my posts have been sparse for a while now. It has nothing to do with the rigors of my b-school as they hardly take place when there is natural light. It is because of the thought process that i go through before scribbling here.
1. I don't want to blog on mundane things that happen with me, thereby making you go through the travails of knowing my ordinary life. Also letting people know what is happening with you through blogs is so impersonal.
2. I never believed in diary writing as it is like accepting your fate that you are not destined for greatness and looking for satisfaction in ordinary things.
3. I do not want to write on any contentious issue as it is already discussed threadbare, thereby making my blog redundant.
4. I have become tired of writing about my friends because that is becoming so predictable and also keeps only a small group interested.

So inspite of all this, why am I blogging now?
My friend just received his adsense cheque from google. So lets cut the crap and please start clicking on the ads by the side of this rambling.

2007-03-14T18:10:00.000+05:30

THIRD TRIMESTER
Whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...
This has been a whirlwind of a trimester here.
Saying that in a nutshell aint possible n de usual lengthy dissertations have already received enough flak.
So for now let me just detail about my learnings in the third trimester in my college IIFT, Kolkata.

Consumer Behavior :At the end of the day, the consumer is a big black box and very unpredicatable.

Operations Management :Learning Quality (L) and using Quality (U) are two individual events with the conditional probability P(U/L) = zero

Soft Skills for Entrepreneurs :Every test including MBTI says I am mad but will be able to convince others too to follow my mad idea. Typical traits of an entrepreneur. Yipeeee

Business strategy :Corporate and business strategy are based on the premise that people will work.

Working capital management :Extend credit from suppliers forever and never give credit to buyers. (ha ha airtel)

International Finance :Forex markets offer the best returns but they are not open to individuals. Why teach us and tease us??

Information technology management :Secrets to success include cut the crap, never use acronyms to show off, share a secretary and work form home.

International Trade operations :There is so much disparity in prices around the world not withstanding 25 trillion $ global trade.

Advanced research methods :"I will give an instant A to anyone who solves this" means the faculty is kidding or the question doesn't have a solution.

Macro economics :Sounds very far fetched to write on India's fiscal deficit and inflation when you cannot afoord stationery and snacks.

2006-08-05T14:18:00.000+05:30

OM KARA
Went to the movie on the shortest possible notice, again precariously perched on the auto. And once in the theatre, found a patient guy who can help me with my hindi comprehension and sat near him. Saif Ali Khan plays the role of a sniper (without a scope though) in the gang. The movie opens with Saif marking a baarath bus’ tire, thus stopping Kareena’s wedding. Prior to it Kareena falls in love with Ajay because he has injured his shoulder. I am not kidding. Kareena plays a very optimistic role. Once when Ajay comes to her home, she gives him a cup of coffee with her engagement ring in it. Kareena’s positive intuition and the hot coffee prevents Ajay from swallowing it.
As Ajay is shifting to politics, he is forced to find a successor for his gang. Vivek Oberoi gets picked up inspite of Saif’s seniority. This forms the crux of the movie. As there is no legal way in which Saif can snatch the leadership which he feels he deserves, he resorts to artifice. He spins an affair between Kareena and Vivek and makes Ajay believe it. Bipasha Basu’s role has been woven into the main story to have two item numbers. Also Konkana Sen plays the role of a village belle. As there are six stars in the movie, the director has made use of a simple means to identify the couple combinations. If two people of the opposite sex have an ornate hip bracelet with them when together, it means they are a couple and you can guess what will happen next. Now between all this entertainment, the gang goes on with its job increasing its frag count. At a stage of the movie when you start to feel that the cops have been significantly absent, guess who turns up as cops. Our own Ajay and Saif and still more fragging.
Finally Saif is given a deadline for proving la affair. I first misunderstood the deadline to be the morning of the marriage. But it turned out to be just before first night. Saif finally cooks up some crazy call in which it seems like Vivek’s reading of a paper written by Saif. Our gullible Ajay believes it. Now starts the killing spree. Whatever ways you think people can die, they do here. Kareena is smothered to death with a pillow by Ajay. Konkana confesses that she had stolen the ornate bracelet. So now Ajay turns on Saif. Then loses interest and chases them away. Then comes the sudden revelation that he is a necrophile. Later Konkana surprises Saif with a sickle and slits his throat. Now with too many confusions about who was right and who wasn’t, the director chose to end the movie allowing Ajay to kill himself thus saving our time and the reels

2006-08-05T14:14:00.000+05:30

MY NEW LIFE

Finding time to blog when in a b-school is not that difficult once the professors allow us to use laptops in the class. But till situations become that idealistic, I have got to exploit innocent faculty teaching refresher courses like mathematics.

First let me begin with my college. Though a startup and people being skeptical about it, the institute is in the hands of dedicated people who don’t show the slackness often associated with government employees. Also the investment on the temporary campus is enormous and shows the resolve to make IIFT-K a success.

About Kolkata now. Salt lake city is the poshest area in Kolkata and is in everyway opposite to how people usually picture Kolkata. Folklore here says Salt lake is actually land that has been reclaimed from a lake. That’s hard to believe as salt lake is as wide as 5 Km in diameter. As Dominique Lapierre narrates, non motorized rickshaws are still aplenty here. And surely I have to mention about the ‘ultadangas’. That’s how motorized autos here are called. With every passing day we are setting records for maximum capacity of an auto and surpassing them promptly the next day. As of now it stands at 7. In the evening people usually queue up at important junctions to hire autos. And believe me, the queue can be longer than in a busy ATM. Buses here are also weird. The seats are like 4 inches wide and only along the periphery and so are the tickets (5cm*1cm). Yellow colored taxis are also ubiquitous. And hiring them is very much like asking for a lift. You can only go to the location the driver intends. Long live communism.

About b-school life. The course is designed to be very rigorous. But that is only applicable if you don’t understand how the system works. No different from management books, the professors too are verbose and convey little. So it is up to you to separate the grains from the chaff. The most important benefit of being in a b-school is having a wi-fi enabled laptop. As long as orkut and ym are around, life is going to rock. And everything connected with the course is usually done using powerpoint. And this is the most exciting part of it. Most of the exams have only MCQs. Now why are you showing your teeth??

2006-05-31T09:10:00.000+05:30

LOOK!! SOME ONE BEHIND YOU HAS RESERVED THAT PLACE
It has been a while since my last post and I am still wondering on what to blog about.
Although there have been myriad articles on the reservation controversy, here is my take on it.
Reservations were first introduced eons ago (50 years to be precise) to account for the social and economic inequality that prevailed then. Also then, social status was directly linked to economic position. According to the census taken then, nearly 22.5% were classified as SC/STs and 30% as OBCs. As the first step, the SC/STs were promoted using reservations. The basic purpose behind introducing such partisan, populist and seemingly unfair measures was to make up for the centuries of oppression inflicted upon the lower strata of society (SC/STs). So as to seek mercy and also to provide an even playing field, such policies were introduced in educational institutions and also in government sector employment opportunities.
In 1994, Mandal commission was constituted to see into the reservations and see whether there was any further requirement. The commission came out with a report suggesting reservations even for the backward classes. This did not go down well with the people and hence was not implemented. Anyway a few states were delighted by the idea as it would increase their political mileage and implemented it. The states included Tamil Nadu (no wonder). Now I would like to throw light on some of the parameters that are used to determine whether the caste you belong to is backward or isn’t. If more than 50% of women in your community are employed then you are doomed to be backward. Also if most of your community has to walk more than 0.5 km for clean water or most girls get married before 17, your community is called backward. Though all these criteria are obsolete when applied to city dwellers, these metro people are the ones who are going to make use of these reservations. And hence those walking half a km for water and getting married before 17 are going to continue doing it and are least bothered about all these developments.
Actually I would like to put the blame on our parents for keeping the caste system alive. Although educated they all have married within their castes thus allowing casteism to thrive. What if everyone had married otherwise, then we will be facing another sort of crisis where in a method cannot be found to classify us and hence we wouldn’t be subject to reservation. This was what I was thinking, but then my dear friend told me that once such an intercaste marriage takes place, then the child can have any one of the parents caste (something for you to ruminate on).
But I think we need not worry about our futures because it is in the safe hands of people like Arjun Singh, our HRD ministry (Was the portfolio given by lots). Also our APJ’s view is that the number of seats in premier institutions should become large enough to render reservations meaningless (very plausible). And our beloved PM does not want to comment on this issue other than asking the medicos to give up. Anyway I cannot understand why the medicos are striking. Most have gained admission into the premier medical institute and are settled with their lives. I thought they were doing it to gain some media coverage and also bunk a few inescapable classes. Again my knowledgeable friend pointed out that PG programmes in medicine which have a very miniscule intake have reservations.
What irks me more is the pro protestors. What are they protesting for?? It is like accepting that they have been discriminated by the society this long, which no urban dweller can claim for sure. And Chennai has seen more protests supporting reservations rather than against it (something to be proud about).
So what can be the likely solution for this problem?? While helping the people in the lower strata come up, the general quota students should also not be hindered. One possibility is to take a census again to ascertain the population of each community and then go along with the proposed reservations. Also children of people who have already benefited from reservations (through education or employment) can be exempted and brought under general category. Also to premier institutes, some practical cutoffs must be kept for reserved communities. Like say the SC/STs not scoring atleast 80% of the lowest general category student can be doomed inadmissible. This will also benefit them later as they won’t find it much difficult to cope with the course pressures. I say this because my intellectual friend told me yesterday that one of his classmates is joining IIM-B this year with an absolute score of 22 in CAT. Now that is infuriating.

2006-05-19T13:01:00.000+05:30

Volatility
A euphemism for people losing hard earned money in the stock market. As I am writing this article the BSE and NSE are tumbling down from dizzying heights. It is the time investors feel that they should have booked their profits earlier and come out of the stock market. Others like me tell themselves that it is all like a wave and we are just experiencing a trough. So what made me write this article?? Probably the thousands I lost.
The fall has been attributed to a number of reasons. One of them being the fear about rising inflation rates in the US. Indian inflation rate has hovered around 5% for some time. The US rate which was much lesser before is also feared to approach the Indian rate panicking investors all around the world.
The fall has also been attributed to slow global economic progress. Although countries like India and China have impressive GDPs of about 8% and 10% respectively, the global GDP has been an abysmal 4.5%. Also the developing countries stock markets have shown a general decline in the past week with the Indian market falling steeply.
As happens with any global phenomenon, it is natural to place the blame on global oil prices. The economics behind world oil prices is interesting. The OPEC (Organization of the Petroleum Exporting Countries) controls about 67% of the world oil reserves and hence dictates world oil prices. Whenever it wants to raise prices, it just reduces production. Also the producers never try to reduce the prices as it directly encourages consumption which in turn leads to global warming. Now Venezuela is coming forward as a major source of oil due to high oil prices. The quality of oil in Venezuela is low grade and costs a lot to be made usable. But the high prices now make it possible allowing Venezuela to produce oil. Also one interesting fact is that in India from the time I have started driving two wheelers a litre of petrol cost 20Rs then in 1990’s and now it is around Rs50 in 2006. But amazingly the US gas price has been ranging from $1.91 to $2.68 per gallon(3.8 litres) for the past fifty years. The lowest oil price is in Venezuela costing about 0.12$ per gallon. The US with its gas guzzling SUV’s is the largest consumer of world oil but has done little to reduce dependence on oil. Instead it has only tried to secure its supply by constructing Strategic Petroleum Reserves which are nothing but underground salt caverns which can hold large amount of oil. Their reserves can help them hold out for sixty days in case of any crisis.

SPR at Bryan Mound, Texas

The initial stock market fall can also be attributed to the left grasping power in West Bengal and Kerala, thus causing the foreign investors to worry and pull out ( fall of 500 points in a day in sensex) which further created a domino effect including the mutual funds to pull out(A fall of eight hundred points in the sensex). Last comes the retail investor who pulled out in order to reduce his losses. But still I stay invested. Why???? I think it must be because I often show high risk behavior in the market and I believe that any one’s risk appetite is inversely proportional to their age.
For anyone wishing to become part of Dalal street, I think that this is the best time to enter. As even all blue chips are priced at a discount, it is a good time for investors to enter the market. But alas I have no more cash to pump in. (My bank balance now is about 1000 against a minimum balance of 5000).
The Indian growth story will continue and I firmly believe that inspite of these corrections, the sensex will surge ahead and outperform expectations. So my kind advice would be to stay invested and to increase your portfolios.
For those interested to enter the market now,my recommends would be
1. Infosys technologies
2. Reliance capital
3. ITC
4. Pantaloon retail
5. ONGC

2006-05-12T18:04:00.000+05:30

Infosys Mysore Pics
Ain't they cool??

2006-05-05T23:46:00.000+05:30

KNOW MY MATES 6:
This is about Sriram Sivaram popularly known as Jillu. Sometimes as Jillu mani. Please don’t think that the mani was added as a mark of respect. It was because of a silly incident. Jillu was taking bath in some hostel bathroom without a lock and one guy just walked in. He din’t see anything unusual or strange but still felt that the title of ‘mani’ should follow his name(Mani in tamil means Bell).
He is a jolly type guy caring the least about studies and classes. But before exams gets possessed by a demonic urge and swots through the course contents. Often learns from S.A.Kannan. He is a 9 pointer. You may think why I am mentioning this and why the fuck am I bothered, but he is my next roll number. He has helped me a few times in my exams.(ok thats an understatement) And I have helped him back by providing answers to questions that he might have not studied (happens once in a blue moon) and also in one another way. When the evaluator corrects his paper after mine, to him jillu’s paper looks like an oasis in the desert. So with his own efforts and mine to provide the much needed contrast, he has bagged numero uno of class once.
Although he is the topper, his interest is in the English language and other non technical fields. Has no technical inclination and if he converts IIM-B (waitlist32), will take it up ditching the Ivy league admits he has got.
He is very frank with his mom. Has teased her sometimes, saying that he has fallen in love and hence going to marry some girl and not someone they arrange. But I don’t understand the fun in that banter. He has a big crush on vp of our class. Anyways he, like many others in the class hasn’t done anything about it.
Currently he is in a little depression because his crush and long time girl friend has become committed to someone else(edited later as per sriram's request). The people from his hostel wing have reported that they hear wails from his room late night. I hope he soon overcomes the loss and gets a move on with someone else. And dude why do you cry for that??
And yeah I forgot to mention his characteristic trait. He is a compulsive stickler for time. Jus kidding. This guy never turns up on time. Whenever you call him, for whatever reason, he just answers that he will be there in five minutes. But his five minutes takes an eternity. So now you are forewarned.
And he is the fastest in SMSing. The time taken for his replies is only the time taken by the network to deliver them. He has an odd habit of dancing when in conversation with a group. Now I think we guys have made him kick the habit, but it used to be a pretty sight to watch him do that.

2006-05-05T23:36:00.000+05:30

KNOW MY MATES 5:
This one is about Sisyphus Raja. As you can make out, the first thing people notice about him is his name. Peculiar. Ain’t it? So is it good or bad to have such a peculiar name instead of the ubiquitous karthiks and kumars. This is worth a debate. Lets see the pros and cons. A peculiar name is advantageous when you are getting introduced first time to a girl. You can be pretty sure that any girl who wants to talk something for the sake of talking, is going to ask what kind of a name it is. Since its your name you must be knowing stuff about it and can go on crapping. And I am sure Sisy has used this topic for flirting extensively.
Now the cons of having a less known name. In the classroom while rollcall any teacher can quickly remember the face that goes with this sort of a weird name. So it is difficult for others to give proxy for him. However with progressing semesters, lecturers became more dumb or lazy or both, that we got away with proxy calls even for SISYPHUS.
And about the name, I don’t remember much. Once Sisy was explaining to some lecturer that it was a Greek mythological character or rather a stone that gathers moss while rolling (Weird huh!! Forgive me Sisy I have a very poor memory) or something of that sort.
The first time you talk with him, you will feel WOW this guy knows his things and gadgets and is trendy. (hmm I’m not going to say what you are thinking) He spends a fortune on changing his mobile phone as often as the season changes. He plays a lot of PS2, but the funny thing is that he lost out on a challenge in his favorite game NFS to a rookie. But he drives his Baleno a lot better.
He loves to drink. It seems it all started when he was in his primary school. During the vacations in his native place, his parents used to mix some beer in his milk so that the poor child doesn’t wake up in the middle of the night hearing spooky sounds. Thus he picked up the habit and is now a virtuoso.The puzzling thing about him is that we can’t find when he is sober and when he isn’t. The enigma’s favorite tee says “I’m home. Take me drunk” This sums up Sisy for u.
Has a long list of girl friends. Was very close with one in first semester but then broke up. Anyone in our group who mentions that sported a black eye for a week. Then in third year he fell bigtime for Divya. During our combined studies, he used to slip away to dreamland imagining some raunchy tamil numbers casting himself and her. Now has got a lot of close friends in Coimbatore.
He is going to become the next GM of his dad’s company as soon as clears his papers and gets through college. And he has promised me that he will give some inside info for me about his company’s share in the Madras stock exchange, but he still doesn’t what its face value or current valuation.
He had vowed to finish off every lecturer who was mean to him. Anytime he gets scolded, the next line he says is “enna! thookidilama?”, but still I havn’t seen him make one flying. The funniest incident between us happened during an Antennas assessment test. Sisy and I had not prepared for the test for obvious reasons. We depended on Gowri to show us the answer sheets. Gowri finished his first sheet and passed it to me. I scribbled it and sent my sheet to Sisy. As happens in the game ‘Passing the secret’, the content got degraded after every hop. Then when I returned Gowri’s paper, one more guy in our middle wanted to see. So Gowri kept his answer sheet inclined. Gowri was absorbed in the questions that he didn’t notice our antenna teacher seeing him. So he got caught in the act (no pun intended). We thought he would plead and ask sorry. But dude he surprised us and even the staff. He started arguing how he could be treated like this when he had studied all night. Finding it illogical, he was given an instant zero. Sisy and I came out of the hall contented with our performance but feeling sorry for Gowri. But this is the clincher. The sheets were returned with me scoring 2 and Sisy scoring 1 on twenty five.
However Sisy, Gowri and I cleared the subject when the class topper and one electronics nerd were given arrears.

2006-05-05T22:46:00.000+05:30

THE ELECTIONS
This May, the elections in Tamil Nadu has very much become an issue of selecting a party which offers the best freebies. So the choice is not between DMK or ADMK, its between a T.V or a computer. This time it seems I have no goods that is of use to me in the freebie list. So I think I will refrain from voting. But next time around, I will wait for the manifestos to be declared before buying any gadgets.
Now as you all know the promised things include T.Vs, computers, gold for marriage, compensation for maternal expenses(may be they got the idea after seeing Ajith’s Thirupathi) and subsidized rice. Today ADMK has announced that it will get rid of CAS in Chennai if it comes to power. For one instant I just thanked my mom for pushing me to get the voter’s ID but then that’s déjà vu. Didn’t Kalanidhi Maran tell the same thing for the parliament elections??
So to make people like us to vote, what freebies do we require?? Let us see.
• free movie tickets
• free Pulsars to unemployed youth
• free unlimited broadband packages for existing users
• free set top boxes(if they r’nt going to scrap it)
• monthly free 10 ltrs petrol and the next 10 at a subsidized cost of 30Rs/ltr
• free mobiles
• free jeans in ration shops
Hmm I can keep adding on. Anyway so before the next elections please postpone buying of any of the above said articles because who knows, you may get it free.
And any north Indians reading this, I suggest you have your weddings in Tamil Nadu as you will get gold for free. Anyone being pregnant is also welcome. If something free is offered for honeymoons, then I think many Indians will like shifting their bases to Tamil Nadu.

2006-05-01T12:31:00.000+05:30

KNOW MY MATES 4:

This one is about the studious guy in our group. Oh yes!! There is at least one among us who is good at engineering education. Prakash is a weird guy. He will look the most careless jolly kind of guy (like me) from the outset but boy he can swot it out if required.

A total veggie he likes to eat anything but always in multiple servings.

He is yet to start shaving. But he may tell you that he has already begun. I would suggest you to take a look at him and then decide for yourself.

He likes gaming and tv. During the many nights we have spent with him, gaming on our PS2 we usually doze off before dawn breaks. But he stays put and continues…… The same applies to nights before tests too. He can be awake for stretches of perpetuity without even winking and can also keep you awake alongside. Sisy will corroborate that.

Before tests Prakash has a practice of writing down whatever he has learnt. If you are not careful enough and let your notebooks strewn around while studying with him, you can be assured of a totally filled up notebook when you wake up.

He has a soft corner for AB batch’s Aishwarya, but we lost interest in digging up that issue as he has an uncanny knack of avoiding discussing his issues although we all may be interested. The latest in that is that he was spotted going around the hostel for her photo on the pretext of loading the farewell photos on his thumb drive.

For his GRE prep, he studied the Barons wordlist upside down. Starting from almost ground zero, in a month he was so adept in it that when we say a word he could reel of the wordlist number and the word after and before it.

And boy he does have a very loud voice. He is the best contemporary example for a stentorian. But you will never believe me because he fakes such an innocent look after a very rude comment that even the person beside him cannot point him.

He has not yet watched porn. Hard to believe but that is what he says. However with his aptitude he can learn things fast and so need not worry.

2006-04-08T11:25:00.000+05:30

A dirge
This article is dedicated to one of the lives lost in our campus. Our campus although innocuous has got the potential to take away lives. This may be shocking to you, but this is true story which can be verified by asking any of our hostellers. If you are faint hearted please do not proceed further as the gory details of the death are hard to digest.

It was a sunny day as usual and there was this one poor rat. It lived in abject poverty that it lived in a really wretched place, a place even dreaded by humans to live, the boys hostel. The food the rat used to have was worse and scarce. However it used to feel contented after seeing the food had by the hostellers. Atleast his was better than theirs.
As usual after his frugal lunch he was taking a walk on the roof when the untoward incident happened. One wrong foot and he fell into the water tank. His screams and shouts fell on deaf ears. He struggled for quite some time before giving in.

The even more pathetic part is that he was found only after 3 days. Also his identity couldn’t be established. His body didn’t even receive a proper send off. The three days old bloated corpse was just thrown away without a decent burial that even an orphan human deserves. If only the hostellers had known to use their sense of smell they could have found it out earlier and the rites could have been done a lot earlier.

I hereby kindly request you to observe a two minute silence for the one who has departed from our midst. I also wish such horrible incidents don’t take place in the future in the campus. Even if a rat has to die, can’t it find a more respectable place to end his life rather than a filthy tank that smells so much that even a rotten corpse doesn’t add to the odour.

2006-04-06T17:52:00.000+05:30

KNOW MY MATES 3:
In this edition lets come to know about Saravana Kumar a.k.a ojak, manmadan.
This guy comes from Chrompet. He was the first guy I knew in the class, thanks to our common friend Arun. When I was first introduced to him, this guy was a calm, polite, uninteresting kind of guy. But boy, I couldn’t have been more wrong.

U can never believe how intently he looks at girls. Has a visual memory with infinite capacity. Also takes pains in collecting their details. When we see a girl in campus and turn towards him, he starts reeling out her name, year, branch, address etc.
Of late he has lost interest in his database operations and guys are terribly missing his services.

He belongs to the aristocracy in his native village near Tuticorin. He is touted to be their next nattamai (godfather). I bet he will do a hell of a job with it if he takes it up.

U never feel bored with him, but once he decides to make an arse out of you, I bet u become a really dumb one. Gowri will vouch for it.

He is the first one to watch all new movie releases come what may. Doesn’t allow academic schedule to affect his attendance at cinema halls. He is the last one to start studying before any test but manages to breeze through the exams. Of course we both love taking the easier route with me being a little more adventurous.

I have seen him angry just once when we played a silly joke on him. We had put up a notice in class saying he had lost one of his personal possessions (worn at all times but still I don’t know what it is called in english). We had managed to clip his photo too on it. He was fuming with anger after seeing it. Poor sakthivel who went and asked him abt it got slapped hard.

He enjoys being with his friends (guys). To believe how big the crowd is, u should have seen him during any of our culturals. Outside working hours of college, it really takes some time even for his parents to find out where he is. Usually stays in any of his friends house and occasionally visits home to recharge his wallet.

He gets smitten quite often. When he appears to have found a soul mate as he puts it, he states some inane reason and backs off. Then again starts from ground zero with renewed vigour. The reasons can range from another guy in the class being interested in her to a bumpy ride.

He is great company to be with but can drive you crazy if he wishes that way. So beware and don’t get him on your wrong side. His way of annoying someone is weird and admirable if you don’t like that someone.

I wish this guy settles down with someone instead of just bird watching (an euphemism he tells for his hobby).

2006-03-17T17:53:00.000+05:30

KNOW MY MATES 2:
Ok in this edition let us take a peek on my buddy Sathish a.k.a Dv, theriyadhu.
If he is asked any question he first says ‘don’t know’ (theriyadu) and then comes up with an answer. That has become his habit.
How this guy started to be with us is still a mystery b’cos he doesn't copy, doesn't put proxy and doesn't do anything that a righteous college student is supposed to do. Maybe opposites attract. But still he doesn’t hate us for all that.
Often you can find him roaming in the campus. This guy loves college and never likes to return home. He sometimes starts leaving for home, reaches the entrance and then comes back into the college for no obvious reason.
He is a dreamy kind of guy and is very profound in some of his replies. For example I quote one of our conversations.

Me: what r u dreaming about da??
Dv: I am thinking what I am thinking about.
Me: what the hell does that mean da?
Dv: Dei I know I am thinking of something but I can’t remember what it is.

I advise u not to pick up an argument with him b’cos the combo of brain & brawn can drive u nuts. He is a spiritually inclined person unlike others in our group. He stands for everything that others don’t. He has never stayed away from his home for a night unless accompanied by parents (discounting our IVs).

He has a great appetite for breakfast. I actually found it out accidentally. One day he told me that he was famished as he had not had his breakfast. I asked him how he manages doing that. He said he had ONLY a glass of milk, bananas, apples and porridge, but no solid breakfast.

He is nuts about a girl from EEE in our college. He met her during the NSS camp and they both got together based on their common interest in music. The one foolish thing he did was he recorded his every experience in a diary. The diary was later exposed and everyone in the class got hold of it and went through. They both form the most studious couple in college. Their conversations are mostly confined to technical crap. Their favourite hotspot is, yeah u guessed right, the library. Latest on them is that he is teaching her matlab.(did any1 of u think of such a topic to put kadalai??) Oh I forgot to mention!!! This guy is a programming geek.

Ok enough of scorn. This guy is great company to be with. He is understanding and talks sense often. He is a teetotaler and abstains from anything dubious. However he doesn’t avoid others for being wayward.
I sincerely wish that he gets a move on with his crush.
All the best dude!!!

2006-03-04T18:25:00.000+05:30

KNOW MY MATES 1:
In this series, get to know of my friends. I have tried to give a really complete picture abt them, but if i have missed out on anything please feel free to add them as comments.
My first post is going to be on my closest mate Gowri Shankar a.k.a. pandu, mokkai, direction(oops this list will be longer than this post). G.S is Hagrid like in appearance and can intimidate anyone in their first meeting but he really is meek and friendly. I say this cos once in second sem, when i threw him my answer paper for cross validation, he started trembling in the exam hall.
I have spent a lot of time with him trying to tide over the never ending series of exams. The night before the tests, we have spent more time in local tea stalls gulping tea than with our books.
On two wheels and a 100 cc engine I bet no one can beat him. This guy blazes the roads and gives his pillion riders a fright. However he has got an inherent problem with comprehending directions(He is still wondering why West Bengal is in East India). He has sent many first timers in our campus who seek directions, into a maze.
His cup of coffee ( he is a self confessed caffeine addict) includes engineering, laboratory and girls. He has a bad sense of humour and is exceptionally talented at cracking silly jokes. But he argues that girls like only that kind of jokes. We have never discouraged him on this part and have even laughed hard enough on his jokes to cause our tummies to squirm.
He can spend hours on the phone droning with girls, often allowing me to doze off during our so called exam preps. When there is a gathering of four or more, someone invariably starts bullying him and he ends up being the arse. However he always seems to enjoy it. He is a completely different person, when he deals with his little brother. He completely bosses over him on the pretext of teaching him maths.
He prefers tamil movies over english ones. He is crazy about Ajith and Jyothika , the most rotund filmstars. Currently he is learing japanese and is into PS2 gaming ( non racing games).
His Crushes: 1. A girl from G.I. He had allegedly proposed her and this became common knowledge during a stupid birthday party celebration.
2. One of our classmates. Too obvious to give the name and I also hate defamation suits.
3. A girl he met recently in a wedding ceremony. He had soiled his shirt in an attempt to grab the video of that marriage. Now his desktop is full of snapshots from the wedding.
Now on a serious vein, he is a great guy to be with, helpful and a hardworker. Frankly he deserves a longer list than the one above. He has got a great family. A really understanding mom(she even knows abt the GI girl) and a cool dad. I owe him a lot more than the previous movie ticket and the lost John Grisham's 'Partner'.

2006-03-01T21:38:00.000+05:30

ESPIONAGE

From times immemorial spying has been an important ingredient of war. Artifice and deception have been employed to win battles emphasizing that ‘All is fair in love and war’. From the Trojan horse in Troy to our own Rama while assisting Sugreevan, unfair means have been employed. Even in today’s increasingly shrinking world, having information about one’s enemies is as important as it was eons ago. Though the modus operandi might have changed, spying is still an important strategic weapon in a county’s arsenal. Different countries have their own intelligence agencies that carry out these covert tasks. These agencies even have a counter intelligence department to weed out itself of turncoats.

First let us get acquainted with some espionage parlance. ‘ELINT’ stands for electronic intelligence sometimes also called signals intelligence or ‘SIGNINT’. ‘HUMINT’ stands for human intelligence. Any spy in unfriendly territory is called an ‘agent’ or ‘asset’. Documents are classified as ‘Eyes only’ meaning they cannot be copied and ‘Ears only’ meaning it is too sensitive even to be written down. ‘Dead drop’ is a place where an agent can drop some material to pass onto the agency. It can be any place that is not suspicious like under a loose slab in a cemetery or in a deserted house. And the drop can be intimated to the agency by some innocuous chalk mark in some other pre agreed place or some obituary ad in the newspaper. When an agent is ‘neutralized’, it means he has been exposed and promptly executed. A ‘wet job’ means one which involves bloody duels. A ‘dry job’ means losing one’s tail(eyes following).

Spying is a job full of risks and uncertainties. Exposed agents are executed even without a courtroom trial. An eligible spy is one who has a sociable nature and can pass on as a local in his area of operation. There are two ways in which spies can be recruited. One way is by finding an eligible person, briefing him and then sending him into hostile territory under cover as some innocent tourist or businessman. The second way is to recruit a person already working in the enemy regime in some influential position. Usually such people have three reasons to turn traitors. The first reason can be money. Or secondly they can turn traitors due to sheer frustration on their own rulers. The third motive is the most bizarre one and any agency’s nightmare. The traitors may be psychopaths who do not show any clear motive and the agency has to risk itself in believing such data sources. Recruiting spies to work for another country has become a major HR exercise and the recruiters look for some discontentment in their potential interviewees.

Espionage involves cutting edge technology. Planting bugs and cams, tapping telephone lines and satellite reconnaissance are some of the fruitions of technology. For example the Predator Unmanned Aerial Vehicle of the U.S can fly at a height of 36,000 feet and carry on both reconnaissance and attacking roles. It has powerful cameras including IR imaging (for lowlight and night vision) and synthetic aperture radar( for haze or fog removal). It carries hellfire missiles and can do a 24 hour sortie fully loaded. The commands for navigation and combat are transmitted by a control station miles away over a C band Line Of Sight data link or through Ku band when LOS is not possible. Such advanced military expertise help in reducing casualties for the side employing it and it tilts the balance in their favor. Even with such tools, there can be no substitute for HUMINT.

Now let us take a look at a few intelligence agencies around the world and their past activities. Uncle Sam’s is the CIA(Central Investigative Agency). The CIA shot into prominence because of its activities during the cold war. Among their many missions, one of them having repercussions even now was the recruitment of Islam radicals to fight against the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan. The recruits had one Osama Bin Laden. The CIA provided them with weapons and training to stop the Reds. Most of the CIA operations were Soviet centric. The equivalent Soviet agency was the KGB, no longer in existence because of its involvement in the attempted coup to overthrow the Soviet premier Mikhail Gorbachev in 1992. The KGB relied more on HUMINT than SIGNINT. It had moles(agents) operating in CIA and MI-5(Brits intelligence).

The most notorious of the intelligence agencies is the Israeli Mossad. It has been alleged to be involved in many kidnappings, assassinations and passport forgery. One famous incident involving the Mossad is the audio surveillance of Russian premier Nikita Khrushchev’s secret speech denouncing Stalin. The Mossad which had obtained the audio by some means from a politburo meeting handed it over to the CIA. One another interesting event involving Mossad was the assassination of Gerald Vincent Bull, a Canadian engineer. He was a pioneer in rocket technology and was involved in building mammoth guns that could fire rockets into very high altitudes with much less expense compared to conventional technology. Iraq’s Saddam Hussein decided to use this technology to launch missiles with nuclear warheads during the Kuwaiti invasion. He tricked Bull to work with the Iraqi satellite program. The supergun constructed then was called Project Babylon and was deceptively hidden within a hill to avoid US spy planes and satellites. While Bull was working on the new nose cones for higher reentry speeds and temperatures, he was shot dead. Although Mossad has publicly taken credit for this operation, the hand of CIA is suspected because Bull had blackmailed CIA to give him a Presidential pardon and also money to keep mum about the CIA’s illegal activities which he was aware of. In spite of his death, Saddam completed project Babylon. However because of a traitor within the Rais(as Saddam is respectfully called) circle, the location of the gun was given to CIA, which readily pulverized it.

The Indian intelligence agency is called RAW(Research & Analysis Wing). It works under the PM and the parliament does not know about its operations. It has a budget of more than 2000 crore rupees. The main focus of RAW is on China and Pakistan. Among its notable operations is its support of Bangladeshi freedom fighters with arms and training and also the LTTE for a while with some of the tigers being on its payroll.

The Inter Services Intelligence (ISI) of Pakistan has in the past had joint operations with CIA involving the Middle East. Also it is an open secret that ISI harbors terrorist operations in the Kashmir Valley.

Spying, as an art of war is going to be immortal and in the future will dictate many decisions to be made. Spying skills from lock picking to ELINT are going to be used not only in Bond movies, but in real life situations. Any advanced strategy game (PS2 or Xbox) cannot give you the thrills that a spy experiences during his missions.

2006-03-01T21:36:00.000+05:30

oops too late to post it now
its a summary of year 2005 wrote it b4 but forgot to post
so here it is

KALEIDOSCOPE

“A look back at 2005. Views ranging from cricket to our campus”

2005 had quiet a morose beginning. The aftermath of the tsunami is still fresh in our minds. To add to the woes a killer quake and devastating hurricanes rocked terra firma. Indian metros like Chennai, Mumbai and Bangalore have received unprecedented rainfall. Chennai is still reeling under the impact of a spate of cyclones. Unlike the U.S where hurricanes were given feminine names like ‘Katrina’ and ‘Rita’, their Indian contemporaries were given non feminine names and surprisingly the only cyclone that was given a female name ‘Mala’ just turned her back and blew away into the sea.

J.K.Rowling came out with her sixth book, ‘Harry Potter and the half blood prince’. The book has increased the frenzy further, leaving much to be completed in the final book. The movie version of the fourth book Goblet of fire has found a breath of fresh air under a U.K production banner. Rupert Grint playing Ron now has become a potential candidate to play Hagrid and Emma Watson playing Hermione is becoming prettier by the sequel.

Terry Schiavo after being kept alive for 15 years has been administered euthanasia which resulted after an intense court battle between her husband and parents. No wonder the Americans have such high life expectancy. Even a terminally ill person can hold out for fifteen years!!

The concept of an ideal man has changed from a metrosexual (e.g Beckham) to an ubersexual (e.g Gere). However my ideal man is A.P.J and I am still wondering to which category he belongs.

The IIM’s have once again flummoxed test takers in 2005 proving that they are numero uno. The paper had mostly bouncers(2 marks) and a few full tosses but no sitters. People taking CAT this year, just be cautious because many of the 2005 test takers are planning to hit back.

India has become globalised in the true sense. Mallika Sherawat starred with Jackie Chan in ‘The Myth’ and Aish has got a dozen English offers under her belt. Most of the runaway hits in tamil have been adaptations of western novels and movies proving that western stories are selling like hot cakes in a locally flavoured version. E.g Anniyan(‘Tell me your dreams’- Sidney Sheldon), Gazini(‘Memento’) and the big B starrer Ek ajanbi(‘Man on fire’).

One year has passed by without reversal of the CAS(Conditional Access System) as promised by politicians. Chennai has been the lone metro where the experiment has clicked(or has it?). Surprisingly this harsh measure has not met any resistance. This may be due to the pathbreaking success of mega serials with very high TRP’s(to be read as Tear Rating Points).

Khushboo has landed herself in the midst of a maelstrom with her comments on virginity. Now I feel may be this is the right time for her to float a political party like our Captain. We all have a special place for all our Amma’s. So who knows where she might end up.

Indian cricket has had a ……umm interesting year. Sachin has conquered another milestone. New find Dhoni has enthralled millions with his charismatic slogging. The secret of his energy is good old natural milk(not boost). Saurav has had a forgettable year. The apparent Pawar shift(or power) in BCCI has cost him his captaincy as well as a place in the team.

Laloo has atlast been ousted from Bihar after a 15 year long stint. But don’t worry, you won’t miss his witticisms as he is still our railway minister. Eleven innocent MP’s have been caught for doing their job or what they presume it to be. They have been exposed by cobraspot.com accepting money to ask questions in parliament. They have been left high and dry by their respective parties because none of the names figured are big shots.

Our new V.C has stood up to instill some decency and morality in us by certain measures. The speed limit in our campus has been risen to 20Kmph after much deliberations.

Hutch has changed its color from orange to pink though retaining the pug. I’m still wondering why…………

I think this quite sums up 2005 for you. Hope we will have 2006 as exciting as 2005.

2005-12-18T22:31:00.000+05:30

A MISSIVE TO THE V.C. OF ANNA UNIVERSITY FROM A STUDENT SEVERELY CRITICAL OF HIS VIEWS

Your decisions of late reflect very little understanding of the student community and seem to have ulterior motives. You have not come out with a logical explanation of your decisions. We all believe that our tolerance so far has encouraged you to come out with such autocratic measures to control us.

The previous decision to bar vehicles was taken even without knowing whether the two gates had enough capacity to accommodate all the student vehicles. Still it did not receive much flak. May be because it seems to have a shred of sanity. It controlled pollution and also made students to take a compulsory walk which gave them some physical exercise. I am even thankful to you for that. However all the staff being allowed to drive around not only deprives them of the physical exercise (much required) but also gives us a sense of being discriminated.

The ban on camera phones in the campus prior to the total ban due to some isolated incident in Delhi public school is also laughable considering the fact that even that school did not take this drastic step. Also they are all school children and we all are grown ups barely teenagers anymore. Instead of banning the camera phones for unstated reasons pretty obvious, you could have introduced sex education which would have been a revolutionary change and would have shown you in good light.

Your comments on dress sense and the decision to introduce dress code has disgraced us. In what way can a dress one is wearing influence one’s studies unless the dress covers their eyes. Do you want everyone to wear misfit safaris like you resembling a scare crow?

If the current ban on cell phones is implemented, then how the hell are hostellers supposed to communicate with their parents? Through the only telephone booth at the canteen! Can anyone imagine the length of the serpentine queues then? Or are you going to shut it down too so as to separate us from all external influences in this pursuit of a B.E. degree? Isn’t it a little too soon for us to renounce worldly pleasures?

The staff members still are enjoying the luxury of using mobiles legally within the campus. But when a staff member receives a phone call during the lecture and drones away on his phone, the time wasted is equivalent to that of the class strength. Can’t you do the arithmetic here? Which is more destructive? Students with mobiles or teachers with them?

Also if cell phones are banned, it is going to get difficult and expensive to tell one another about the test schedules, time table changes, often being cancelled classes due to irregular staff etc.

Instead of banning phones, being a technical university, you can encourage students to research cheaper methods of signal jamming within the campus. Students can also design a few bio fuel or electric vehicles that can be used within the campus. Also you can do hell of a lot to improve faculty standards. I am not trying to pinpoint one or two failures among the faculty but the whole lot for being so uncompetitive and dispirited.

Quit being such a taskmaster and look at the status-quo from our shoes. Surrounded by servile bootlickers, it is difficult to get new innovative ideas, but please avoid rash decisions like these. Instead of appearing on all T.V. channels suggesting stupid rules making a fool out of yourself, why not take part in a debate with your students, hearing their ideas and give your reasons.

I have written all this not to humiliate or demean you but to drive this into your thick head that you can’t force your opinions on others.

2005-12-18T22:28:00.000+05:30

CHENNAI DELUGE
Oxymorons like ‘Chennai rains’ have recently become meaningful in their true sense. Rains have marauded Chennai and left it with a war torn look. There has been extensive damage. Infrastructure has been crippled, industry turnover shattered and many working days lost. But this is quite a rare event, the only one for more than a decade.
Have the rains been really that destructive or have they been hyped to their current stature by the media. Only a small fraction of Chennai was flooded. But why did the news channels flash marquees like ‘Chennai reeling under cyclone’ and ‘Chennai submerged’? Probably they wanted to make hay while the sun shines or should I say get drenched when it rains,
The main reason for these rain spells to have snowballed into a near catastrophe is improper urban planning. The city has lakes with miniscule capacities insufficient to cater to the city’s needs. Haphazard construction has encroached many small lakes and ponds. The government instead of emphasizing on micro level changes like the rain water harvesting systems can dig up new lakes and broaden existing ones.
The meteorological department has made some awful predictions this season. During the second cyclone ‘fanoos’, the met officials have made a public disclosure that the areas to be affected by a cyclone can be definitvely said only when the depression is within 200 km from the coast. However for the first cyclone, the met officials were n air in all channels issuing warnings when the storm was 1000km away. Maybe they were all rusty and got excited by the possibility of a storm.
Exam schedules were revised by the hour. As soon as the Anna university officials announced a new schedule, the weather department countered it with a cyclone warning. Exam planners were on tenterhooks the whole season. The exams now seem to take an eternity to get completed.
Bridges in Chennai have become hotspots, teeming with crowds eager to catch a glimpse of flooded rivers below. Have pity for those souls which had wade through the Cooum which overflowed in their streets after breaching its banks.
The only beneficiary of these rains seem to be underperforming cricketers like Ganguly. He was allowed to be in the warmth of the dressing room for four days. Finally his luck ran out and he was forced to the pitch on the last day. As usual his batting glory continued to wane. Also his clout in the BCCI is gradually fading due to power shift or Pawar shift, to be precise.
The doomsday conspirators blame all this nature’s fury on global warming caused by excessive usage of fossil fuels. But to the sci-fi group here is a tidbit. There is one another phenomenon called global dimming which cools down the earth. The pollutants from burning of fuels cause clouds to be formed with greater number of water droplets which increases their reflectivity. So heat is reflected back to space. Contrails(exhausts from planes) also contribute to global dimming. Climatologists noted that in the three days after 9/11 when all air traffic was suspended, the average temperature rose by 1 degree Celsius. So u all can stop feeling the guilty pinch next time you take out your vehicle.
Next year around if anyone’s is missing the rains, then try scheduling a match at Chepauk or get out the Anna university exam schedule.